The Search for Happiness
I came across this article years ago written by an incredible guy by the name of Al Lerner. It made such an impact on me that I refer to this article quite a bit. I hope you get out of the article what I got out of it.
Here’s my New Year’s gift to you. Some advice I think is worth a million bucks. Make one resolution this year. Forget losing weight or trying to launch a new business or winning a political office or inventing a cure for cancer. All those things are well and good but inevitably will prevent you from reaching the most important goal for this year or for any year for that matter.
Make a resolution to be happy; nothing more and nothing less.
Happiness is more than just a state of mind or money in the pocket. It is not some fancy 50-cent word tucked away in your secret wish book. It is not buying as many self-help books as you can cram into a grocery bag or carrying a checklist to make sure you are practicing one of the seven habits of highly effective people. It’s not having to fake it at work and hoping your new positive attitude can mask the confusion or loneliness or dissatisfaction you feel in your ho-hum life.
Happiness is an inner kind of peace that causes you to sit back in traffic and actually enjoy the minute of peace while waiting for the light to change. It’s the voice at the end of the day that says, “Hey, you did a bang up job!” when no one even noticed you entering the building. It’s the excitement and relief you feel knowing you are going to be home in a few minutes, in your own domain, with no one to judge you or measure you against anyone else. It’s not worrying about tomorrow until the new day dawns. It’s knowing… not just believing… that there is some purpose for your life, even if you can’t see it.
Several years ago I was unfairly demoted in my job as an anchor and put back on the streets. It was devastating for me at the time because I was forced to take a pay cut which nearly cost us our home. My news director at the time, who was not responsible for my reassignment, would call me into his office and could see the hurt in my eyes. “Don’t take this so seriously. Just because one person makes a judgment about you that’s wrong doesn’t mean it’s true. And besides, do you think God is all that impressed with what some boss thinks of you?”
Now, I have always been a man of faith. I truly believe and know that God has me here on earth for a number of reasons. I’m a great father, and husband and have always been an encourager. I can make people laugh and feel good about themselves. These things don’t change about my internal character because someone on the outside can’t see them, or is blinded to them for their own personal gain. It happens a lot in the TV and radio business. I had seen it a hundred times and should have been able to lump it and move on. My first reaction was to go out and buy every book I could find on making career changes or finding that inner spark. No kidding, I bought over 20 different books in about three weeks hoping I could find a nugget of truth that would make this pain go away. None of those motivational geniuses had the spark or the “Soup” that I needed at the time. The giant motivational seminar I attend with 25-thousand other “seekers” was a bust because it made me feel even guiltier for not being happy.
Actually, my turn around occurred in the privacy of my own car. I was listening to a tape of a North Carolina mountain stream with some nondescript strings thrown in. The birds were singing their symphony as the leaves of the trees rustled in the cool spring breeze. You could feel the warmth of the sun as the rays danced across the glistening surface of the tumbling brook. In the distance I could hear my four kids, all under the age of 10, laughing and splashing water on each other. I could feel the approving and adorning gaze of the love of my life from the nearby bank. Time was suspended, the world’s cares held at a bay by this perfect moment in the grand tapestry of my universe. Happiness was there for me anytime I wanted it, any time I wanted to step out of my pity party and into the glow of the things in life that really matter.
The key to being happy is not having what you want, but wanting what you have. I’d give credit to the original author of that phrase but I don’t know who said it first. All I know is that happiness comes from being contented with whatever God has given you at that moment. Sometimes it seems He has given us immeasurable wealth of things and friends and family. There are other times when the measurable blessings are few in number but plenty in their ability to satisfy.
I don’t know where the beginning of the year finds you. But of all the gifts I could hope for you this year, happiness would be first. It’s not found in any “thing” or any book. It begins and ends with you making the decision to turn from the negative and create the inner attitude of wanting what you have. The best part though, is that happiness is a spiritual walk. If you can begin to comprehend and absorb that there is a God who loves you like you are, who has a plan for you, and who is accessible 24-hours a day, and obsesses over you unlike anything or anyone you have ever met, then happiness is within your reach. As the Good book says, “The eyes of the Lord search to and fro eagerly and gladly looking for those He can encourage.” That my friend is you, and, that my friend is happiness.
Drop me a line if this happiness rings true for you this year. If not, write me anyway and maybe I can help you along the way. That is my commitment and for you this year!